2010年12月6日星期一

If love, love is not smoke

Some fate is doomed to lose, some predestination is forever have no result, if love, love is not smoke.

When he was nineteen. He told her at first sight.

He is a university with her with annual outcrossing is different the classmate of class, freshmen reported that day, thousands of new queued for registration, he is wearing a blue plaid shirt and jeans, happened to row behind her, the more happened to her was also wearing blue jeans plaid shirt and row in front of him. Because people more crowded, her back when accidentally stepped on his foot, she hurried and return overdo smile and his apology. Her black hair, after the head plunge into a horse tail, big eyes, like talking like, a laugh, mouth and two lovely small dimples. From that day on, he will believe this is the god to give his fate, from that day on, he was love at first sight.

He twenty-three years old. He and she graduated from college.

Four years in the university life together, he tried to caress the friendship between him and her, he never dared to express his love for her, he can only use his silence of the company, and careful concern, gentle considerate to express his love for her, and can become her best friend he had so content.

At school she talked several games in love, and he becomes her listeners and accompany her together excited and accompanied with her sad. She every time the end of love, he will secretly lucky, every comfort her, he return to dormitory will secretly laughter.

After graduation from the university, she went abroad study abroad, he admitted to the Canadian school graduate student. These years, he each week will write her a letter, send to Canada to encourage her, he wants to know her in a foreign country, no he accompanied is good, she also sometimes reply to him, tell him, she is very good, to reassure him. He knew that she really grew up, mature, it is no longer the need he accompanied, needed his care, need him to take care of, need him comfort the little girl, he don't know, he should feel free to still not trust.

He twenty-six. She returned to study abroad, study abroad and she met during the classmate married.

She finally came back, back is married, but the groom isn't he, his heart still hurts, long time, long time...

In her wedding on stage, he smiles and bless her speech happiness.

A month later, he silently lost ten catties.

Since then she lost his news.

She is 36 years old. Her marriage was not what he wishes that happiness.

Her years of marriage didn't like her to it, she can only use to maintain this two word to describe, if it weren't for have a daughter, she even maintain don't want. She had previously used his careful, care and considerate and company, but oneself of husband but not this to her as a good friend, as to understand her as she CARES so cherish her, so she, so need to love her... Because her personality strong career-ambition exuberant plus, she does not have how many thoughts to run her marriage.

She put all your energies in it's career, on work more energetic, staggering 42.15% more attractive, after several years of effort, she finally earned out in the media has a sky, occupies a place. Successful since she started her feel life empty lonely, to yearn for her good, his heart constantly emerge with scenes her with his common, once owned of memory. She wanted to go look for him, but she didn't look for his courage.

Because she didn't know he now whether still like before.

Because, she doesn't know his marriage is also like her as well.

Because she has a lovely daughter, she can only put marriage keep going.

She really didn't have the courage to change that, predestination so and passed her is that she didn't know how to cherish, again how reluctant unwilling to give up, how can I go back to the start? And how to start again?

She 38 years old. She is still in maintaining her marriage. He never left her.
Her college old classmates about her to the coffee shop, he wrote her a letter to her letter. Old classmates told her that he just days before the disease in Canada, end was entrusted must give this letter to her.

She shocked, looked blank. How could he did not give her a little bit forecast preparation, quietly sank into the eternal silence. She doesn't know how she walked out of the coffee shop, she also don't know how she walked to they often go to the lake. Her hand clenched his that letter, like clutched him still in hopped's heart, and he still beating for her heart, tightly, tightly...
Michelle:

I walked, this is really gone, forever left.

When you see this letter, I have in heaven smiling to see you? Or good like watching you laughing.

Don't let the heart stops the standard in the QiChu condelement chuang instantaneous, smiling face life, you have to help me smile finish this life? Your smile in my world is the most beautiful.

All the time since I wanted to tell you I'm that love you. From freshman registered when you stepped on my foot, from your return overdo smile and I apologize, from our registered day wore same clothes... I believe this is the god to give our fate, I to you at the first sight.

Every time want to tell you, I do not know how to start, prepared a car of sweetness, a pilgrimage to meet you all is run didn't, you are so pure, so kind, so intelligent, so hui jie, so likable, good afraid you refuse to make friend with you, so the qualification all have no, I only silent beside you do your good friend, accompany you, care about you and take care of you, considerate of you...

I waited for you for four years, university commencement day I wanted to tell you I'm that love you, yet you at commencement day over the phone to tell me you are going to Canada to study abroad, procedures all handle, also got a scholarship, after graduation and then walk. I just initiation of courage and went up there, not only express how happy for you, and a lot of orders that reminds a pile of trepidation.

And I have been waiting for you for three years, about you all day, I think good trying by the time you come back to tell you I am so to love you. You've returned at last. Can I have your invitations, and you will be someone else's bride. How things should became so, all my strong self-confidence in the moment all collapse, my heart aches, so can hear my heart "Kuang" the sound of broken...
I'm afraid you unhappy, plucked up the courage to end to your wedding. I wanted to see one eye you go, you laughed and pull me, ground to my blessing to you, watching you wear white wedding gown a face of happiness and sweetness, laugh or so beautiful, I refuse your power to all have no. Looking at nearby of you, suddenly feel me and your distance is so far, far away to you are no longer the freshmen when registering and I wear the same clothes, return overdo smile and I apologize girl. The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but when I stand in front of you, yet you don't know that I love you.

I don't remember how I like escape your wedding, just remember my broken heart has been bleeding...

Previous past really like a dream, carrying all my love and my dreams, it finally unable to shore and repeated vacillate. Love is like a door to the time of door, when I first opened the door, clearly see your through. But the second again pushed the door open, fuzzy of you have already disappear. I'll always remember you back when the most beautiful smile.

If ever really exist, then let I love you forever every day, if never exists, then lets the time made me love you parked in the moment.

Forget you bring me yesterday how difficult it is, I can't do that. I had to choose to leave you, can be gathered to leave your footsteps and how difficult it was. You are my heart untold pain, you are in my heart forever waits.

I resigned from work, a person hide to school in Canada.

You leave me memories have been followed in my about, the heart of the track, cannot delimit memories swing, swing more don't want to. Walk in a noisy streets, I still fremden land will unconsciously looking for your shadow. Silent night, miss air channeling flows in my dream dreams outside. I know the time didn't lose what, but increases a lot of miss, you smile still so clear.

Miss you, is I persist of gentleness.

Love you, is I helpless regret.

Wait for you, is waiting for my life.

From see you first day, I'll wait for you, in the quiet wait for you, I waited for you for 19 years, and now I can wait for you again, but I must tell you, want you to know, snow, I used the lifetime of waiting, waiting for you to love me...


It was getting dark, dark,

She is still in tightly clenched his that letter, he still clutched her beating heart...

She held her head erect, looking at the sky, a full face of tears, she to paradise he smiled...

She closed her eyes and two drops red, glittering and translucent tears rolling down from canthus...

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